2009.07.12 -> Since when my heart was paralysed?

It was started from 4 in the afternoon yesterday, "Tik Tak Tik Tak", the rhythm of rain drops were non-stop until 12 noon today. I'd never met the situation like this, it was terrible! Raining 18 hours non-stop.

From the very heavy rain till the drizzle, I could feel the breath of myself. From heavy to light, from pain to relax, from... to... I mostly forgot what was the feeling from the day I had been hurt. I did not know, I just know that my heart and my mind were both in peace while the rain was heavily dropping from the gray sky.

Sometimes I wonder, we always worry that what will we lose in our lives, but have we think that how do we appreciate the things and people? Do not think so much before you leave that thing but grab it and appreciate it. Like a friend, lover, family, and whatever you have.

I put down, I forgot, I chose to leave. There are many things that we cannot control; when it comes to the end, the only method is to accept the fact even though you know that is hurt. But, trust me, that pain will be recovered soon because we know to face the problem but not to evade from it. I'm not only talking about love, there are many aspects of life. Do not see it as petite as what you think.

I was the one who had got hurt before but I am now recovered. Why am I getting better so soon? I think I have to thank myself that I did not think so much about that scar. I also have to thank my friends and relatives who are always supporting me and give me courages! I really appreciate for what they have done. Love them so much~~~

I like "Jing-Si Aphorism", it has mentioned one which is "Take a different angle to look at the world, the world is boundlessly wide and vast." I think it's right, just change an angle and you will find something different for your life. The world is not only a consist of "You and Me" but also "he & she", "they and I", "We and Them" and many.

Sometimes when I see a handsome, my eyes will catch on him but I will just look him as an beautiful phenomena to look at. I do not know why, I have no feelings of love on guys now. I mean, after I broke up, I have thought of it, I did not love him that much and I found that we love because of loneliness. Before I was with him, my heart was paralysed already.

Since when I am as cold as Ice? I think I could not remember. Once my ice melts, I think I will fall in a real love...

Maple@Leaf